Welcome back!
Today we are boing to be diving in on how you can express your love language, specifically if your love language is gifts.
People who have this love language love giving and receiving gifts. Whenever there is an occasion for a gift, they are sure to pick on out. It gives them great joy and satisfaction to find and choose a gift for whatever occasion. In the same, they also expect to receive gifts after special moments, such as birthdays, graduation, and some form of achievement. This can make this love language a struggle, because gifts can be given in an unloving manner.
Many parents in an effort to show their love to their children, lavish them with gifts. However, because there is so many gifts and no context to why they are given, the children become dead to the gifts. That is because they associate the gift as some sort of leverage or act to offset something else that is wrong, such as family time, and broken promise, et. This is why it is so dangerous to use gifts as a bribe to children. In doing so, they might miss the true meaning of giving a gift. Remember a true gift is not a gift given out of a need to patch something up, it is given generously, freely, and without any expectation of being reciprocated. Few people give like this.
Also remember that if someone enjoys to give gifts, it still might not be their love language. For example, I love picking out the perfect gifts for my family and friends, however receiving gifts do not speak to my love language. For that, acts of service is more my love language.
So how can you tell if someone’s love language is receiving gifts? In their book, “The Five Love Languages of Children.” Gary Chapman, and Ross Campbell state that most people whose love language is gifts attribute the receiving gifts as acts of love. As noted in this example from the book. “When we asked ten-year-old Rachel why she was sure that her parents love her, she said, “Come to my room and I’ll show you.” Once in her room, she pointed to a large teddy bear. “They brought me this from California.” And then touching a fluffy stuffed clown, she said, “They bought me this when I went to first grade. And this silly monkey was from their trip to Hawaii for their anniversary.” She continued around the room, pointing to more then a dozen gifts she had received from her parents over the past few years. All of them were in a special place, displaying her parents love.” ( 75).
Thus when someone’s love language is gifts, they associate being loved with the present, and also display those gifts to show them and others the love of their family and friends. So now that we know that someone’s love language is gifts, how can we show them love in gifts in the appriote way?
There are many suggestions in the book, but I am going to give a couple of my own. I feel that these will tie in nicely with the lost arts, so lets start with number one.
- Once you know what they want, find a way to wrap it an mail it to them. This is a fun way to receive a present. And who doesn’t like mail, especially one that is wrapped?
- If your child wants to learn a specific skill, take the time to research it and buy the equipment and give it to them as a gift and as a way to tell them they will be having lessons.
- Do a gift scavenger hunt. This is a fun way to have children engaged in finding their gifts.
- Write some encouraging words or message on some pretty paper and wrap it up, and give to your child, friend, or spouse, when they are having a particularly hard day.
- Make their favorite cookie and put them in a pretty bakery box or tin, and present it to them after they have accomplished something or just because. They sure will be trilled.
I hope you enjoyed readying this post. Remember a gift does not need to be expensive, as long as you truly show your love and appreciation. Let me know if you have any other suggestions in the comments below.
Have a great day!
Alyssa
Source cited
Chapman. Cary., Campbell, Ross. The Five Love Languages of Children Chicago: Northfield Publishing, 2005. Print