Welcome Back!

As you guessed it from the title, we are going to be looking at love, why many people do know know how to show true love,  the portrayals of love,  and how true love is shown,

This topic has recently fascinated me. I suppose it is after watching too many dateline mysteries with my family. In many instances, it is the husband that murders his wife. But what is most troubling when watching these stories is how the husband is described to other family members as really tender, touching, and more importantly would never do such a thing to his wife.

What I believe what happened, as many of these married women were modern, is that they neglected their husbands in the pursuit of a better career.  Most of these women had most desired careers. They were are the top of  their research.  Because of this, they had little time for their husbands, working late into the night and traveling. Of course, the husbands were very supportive, but the wives never seemed to support their husbands with anything. So think about it this way, you give your wife your love, your support, sacrifice time with your wife for her career, while working as much as you can for her benefit, and also  allowing your wife to go on many trips without you, there may be a point to feel like she had no time for you. The wives never reciprocated the love that their husbands gave them, and thus, the husbands, while still loving, were starting to feel like the back burner in their wives lives. This is a dangerous place to be in any relationship.

This is why love needs to be more understood. It is greater than just sparks when ever you see a person. It is more than the silvery feeling of having your loved one at your side, or the fireworks get when he or she looks at you or kisses you.

The portrays of love are shown in many different ways by how people perceive what love is.  In their book, “The Five Love Languages of Children,” Cary Chapman, and Ross Campbell demonstrate that children as well as adults show and expect to receive love in different ways.  For example, one child may feel loved when cuddled, while another child might not feel loved at all when cuddled, but feel loved when praised. Given this, it is important how we show love to our children, siblings, and spouses in a way they know we love them. However, this is hard because what speaks love to us cannot speak love to someone else.

This is why people find it so hard, and generally do what they know will make them feel loved, not knowing that that is the exact opposite of what the receiver of the love  will feel. For example, Fred feels loved when the house is clean and dinner is prepared. His wife however feels loved when she is praised and complimented. Thus, she praises him for his hard work and earning a living for them, every night. While this is great, poor Fred doesn’t feel loved, because his wife is not speaking his love language, only her own. In the same respect, Fred does the chores around the house and fixes a meal for his wife, but she doesn’t feel loved, because words of praise and affirmation are her love language.

This is the primary reason why many people do not know how true love is shown. What makes us feel loved is not what makes others feel loved.  Part of considering others and loving them is to be knowledgeable of what makes them loved and appreciated.  Oftentimes, many people do not even know that they have a love language, but they do know that they feel loved many particular ways. Thus, I believe that this concept of understanding the art of love will help not only in family relationships, but also in friendships and romantic relationships.

In the next post, I will be writing about how you can show love in different love languages to your spouse, children, and siblings. So stay tuned!

Have a lovely day,

Alyssa