Welcome back,
In the past post, I talked about the diminishing art of conversation. Today, I am going to share some tips to help revive this lost art.
In order to have a good conversation, we must be a good listener. However, one might ask how to be a good listener?
As a Greek philosopher Epictetus once stated, “We have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak.”
Although we tend to believe we are great listeners, research shows that the average person listens with only 25 percent efficiency. This means there is a lot we’re letting go in one ear and out the other.
Here are some tips for becoming a good listener.
- Avoid distraction. While this might seem obvious, many times we are not engaged in conversation because we are constantly on our phones, or looking at our phones. To be a good listener, turn the phone or any electronic device off, giving the person in front of you your undivided attention.
- Don’t try to speak, just let the other person talk. So often we don’t listen well enough to what a person is saying because we are trying so hard to formulate a great response. However, just like looking at your phone, this can also diminish how much you hear. So try not to even think about what you are about to say. Remember, sometimes the conversation is not about you and your opinion, but just lending an ear to someone that needs it.
- Emphasis with the person. Listening to what others have to say, without distraction, giving them your undivided attention, shows what they have to say matters to you.
- Don’t interrupt. Interrupting the person who is trying to speak is very rude and also indicates that what the other person has to say doesn’t matter to you.
- Ask probing questions. Part of a good listener is being able to understand the other persons feelings, and being able to show what they are saying is making sense to you. Providing this thoughtful feedback shows also that you are engaged in the conversation and what they are saying is important to you.
I hope you take the time to implement these tips and become a great listener. I know I will.
Have a great day,
Alyssa